Archive for June, 2011

women and peanuts – what the two may have in common

A long hiatus, but I’m back. It took some time without to-do lists coming out my fingertips, and a situation that got me fired up to sit down to write, but I am here.
Women are mean. I can exclude a few from this assumption, but not many. I can’t even leave myself out, as I have been mean at least once. =/ Okay, twice.
Have you ever watched The Apprentice? I am sure many of the sharp pointy nails come out for the purpose of ratings, but I have to wonder how much of it is true. The women back stab, bicker, and yell like no other. I am shocked by their utter ferocity when it comes to getting a job, or raising money for charity.
Just yesterday I realized how this behavior crawls it’s way into every day relationships between women. I knew we could be a mean species, but I rarely come in contact with the tenacious spirit of the female, probably because I keep my fair distance. I was trying to do something for someone, as she had asked for my help. When I wasn’t able to perform to her high standards (figuring out something she herself could not), she yelled at me in an email. My heart fell to the floor, and I was swiftly taken back to High School. That is literally the last time someone yelled at me.
Why are women so rude? So mean? So unforgiving? I can definitely be lumped in the “unforgiving” category, as it will take me a while to be cordial to this woman when I see her next time.
That reminds me, I even had the stupidest nightmare about her last night. She was a giant peanut (and I don’t mean the charming cartoon type), with little peanuts inside. She was grouped together with other large peanuts, but the rest were dead. She wasn’t. She came to life with gigantic spider arms, which encircled me and tried to kill me. Her face was the skeleton of an animal. Don’t ask me.
Maybe she was a peanut because we are humans with a shell. We can look beautiful (or not) on the outside, but you never really know what the inside holds unless someone peels us back. What will you find? Sensitivity? Hatred? Kindness? Loneliness? Someone who is stressed beyond their threshold? Interesting.
Until now, I just thought I had an insanely strange nightmare, but maybe there is more to it.
I will try to understand that this woman is dealing with issues far beyond me. Or at least I can hope I am not the only cause. And I will remember not to work with her on a project again. Thankfully we are not employed at the same company where we are forced to do so, we are volunteering. Doesn’t that make it all the more fun?

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June 30, 2011 at 3:12 am Leave a comment

the dad life

A tribute to my dad and my awesome husband… don’t laugh too hard.

June 19, 2011 at 10:38 am Leave a comment

lots of claws

Tango, Puma, & Zephyr

Cats. Love them or hate them. I love them, and so does my husband, so that leaves us in a bit of a pickle. A big, cat-filled pickle.

Prior to April we had four kitties, but then the first cat we brought home after we got married passed away. It was extremely sad. Soon after he left us, we noticed there wasn’t any more marking. He had feline diabetes, and all the cats seemed to be in a war for who could mark the most. That left for a very unhappy mama. The defense of territory stopped, and I reiterated what I had said thousands of times, I would never have more than three cats at one time.

Then the inevitable showed up. Three stray kittens in our front yard. We fed them outside, and I was okay with keeping them there. We would keep them full and they would be free to roam. Then I heard the snarling and growling of the neighbors pit bulls, and I worried. What if those kittens went over the fence? The final straw was when one of the tabby’s wouldn’t open his eye. I thought it had been scratched out!

I said we couldn’t let them continue their life of homelessness, we needed to take them in. But, my plan was to only keep one and find homes for the other two. Adorable kitties can find good loving homes right? Wrong. No one wanted them. My husband agreed that we should bring them inside. The vet checked the one with the hurt eye, just an infection.

I kept wondering what we were doing, and I expressed my concerns. My kindhearted husband said that our hearts were being hardened. I am the one who will stop the car in the middle of traffic to catch a lost dog. I was even the cause of my sweet hubby being bitten by a little fur ball once because we just had to get him back to his owners. 

I didn’t want the mess that cats make. I didn’t want more fur in my already allergy induced home. I didn’t want more cats wanting my attention that is already spread between one husband, two toddlers, two dogs, and three cats. Then I asked myself what was more important. Is it that I have a Mrs. Clever house, or that these cute kittens have a safe and loving home? I voted for the latter. I couldn’t let them be hit by a car or chewed by a dog.

So, they are staying. They aren’t like ferrel cats, they were scared to death of us, but they are warming up. All the animals are learning to get along with one another, and we are all better for it.

June 18, 2011 at 10:45 pm Leave a comment

a cup of mommy patience

Michael J. Fox once said that he wouldn’t take his time with his children for granted again. His fight against Parkinson’s disease made him look at life with new eyes. He said, “From now on, if my kids want my attention, I will drop whatever I am doing and give it.” He said he didn’t want to miss the time with them as he had in the past, because you never know how long you will have those moments to share.

Since seeing his interview years ago, I have added two children to my family through foster-to-adopt. I have recalled Fox’s take on life and children many times, continually trying to make my kids a priority.

I am almost finished with the book Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman. She and her husband, Steven Curtis, lost their five year old daughter in a tragic accident in 2008. Their story is another one that reminds me to cherish every slobbery, yogurt filled kiss, every sweat smothering hug, and the sound of my daughter saying, “Why?” for the hundredth time in one hour.

There are days when I’m doing pretty well at following through with my promise to my mommy self; “I will not make anything more important than my children (or my husband).” It shouldn’t be too difficult to follow through with this agreement since my kids did not come easy. I am blessed to have them with me. I can see how they were plucked out of lives headed for ruin. I love them with all my heart – since the moment I met them.

I could leave you with this fairy tale ending, but frankly, it’s only part of the story. Being a mommy can be difficult. Trust me, I have had my share of those days when you think the walls are falling in. Yesterday and today are great examples. I found myself at the bottom of my mommy patience cup, just wanting to finish a small project (why I ever thought I could accomplish it with two toddlers running around, I will never know).

Then guilt settled in for a long stay. I wasn’t living up to who I wanted to be. The perfect mother.

If I could be realistic, she doesn’t exist – that perfect mother. Yet, I can’t help but wish I was her. All I can do is make great efforts at doing the most important thing I believe a mommy should do, that is to let my children know they are loved. Now I just need the patience and will to do so. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

June 17, 2011 at 4:19 am Leave a comment

adoption date!

We have an adoption date for our foster son. Really, he has been a son of our hearts since the moment we met him a year and a half ago. August 1st is the day I am looking forward to. Then, this long journey will be put to an end so a new one can begin.

June 14, 2011 at 8:01 pm Leave a comment

the cost (life) of finding a new home

“The river’s deep, the river’s wide, the river’s water is alive…” These are the lyrics to a song by Steven Curtis Chapman. All to real in so many states right now, ours included.
The Colorado River runs through our little city. The excessive amounts of snow which accumulated in the nearby mountains over the winter is liquifying so fast that homes are being flooded along the banks of the river. Yesterday I was driving alongside the river when I noticed several animals lying in the road. Dead. It’s a rare site in our area, so I took notice. I looked out at the usually desolate plain and saw that the water had filled it in. Soon I realized that the dead animals must be prairie dogs, who had been forced from their cozy underground abodes, and into the street, where they were hit by oncoming traffic.
I am an animal lover. I often have more compassion for animals than humans. It’s something that I don’t like revealing about myself, but it’s also something I deal with on a regular basis. Children are a different case, but teens and adults can make choices. Animals often find themselves as the innocent party to a cruel and heartless world. I felt horrible for these poor prairie dogs who were just trying to make a short move to the other side of the street, when they met their fate. I won’t emit those who most likely swerved to hit them on purpose.
I do feel horrible for humans who have lost loved ones, their homes, and precious belongings due to natural disasters. I can’t imagine what going through such pain must be like. At the same time I wonder about all the creatures who are losing their lives, or ones they love at the same time. I can’t help it.
For all those who say that animals don’t know any different, maybe you should spend some time living near a farm. There is one close to our house, and I hear the mama cows mewling (not mooing) as their babies are taken away from them. I know they care. Animals aren’t immune to tragedy, we just want to believe they are.
Now I have to figure out why I’m not a vegetarian. And I wonder, who doesn’t think these guys are just adorable?

(Image from

June 12, 2011 at 3:43 am Leave a comment

the musician, Meat Loaf, looks like…..

I like to keep music and the images of the musicians that create it separate. In the 90’s there was this awesome song, “I Would Do Anything for Love,” and I couldn’t get enough. I never saw the artist. I didn’t have MTV, and I am SO glad. Years later, my husband and I were talking about this great hit, and he mentioned how cute Meat Loaf was. I had never seen him, so he described his stunning good looks in detail. For once I was grateful that my parents hadn’t paid for cable when I was growing up, if only for that one reason. (If you have seen Meat Loaf you would know he isn’t so dashing.)

Meat Loaf at his best

For me, it ruins the song when I imagine an artist in my mind and then see someone completely different singing it. This happened recently with the group The Script. Amazing songs, but not who I had pictured in my mind. (I still don’t watch MTV, I have better things to do with my time. Do even have that anymore?)
I do have to say that Meat Loaf was recently on The Apprentice, and his heart of compassion and depth of feeling more than made up for his interesting looks he shared with the world many years ago.

(Image from

June 10, 2011 at 6:46 pm Leave a comment

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