Posts tagged ‘children’

a cup of mommy patience

Michael J. Fox once said that he wouldn’t take his time with his children for granted again. His fight against Parkinson’s disease made him look at life with new eyes. He said, “From now on, if my kids want my attention, I will drop whatever I am doing and give it.” He said he didn’t want to miss the time with them as he had in the past, because you never know how long you will have those moments to share.

Since seeing his interview years ago, I have added two children to my family through foster-to-adopt. I have recalled Fox’s take on life and children many times, continually trying to make my kids a priority.

I am almost finished with the book Choosing to SEE by Mary Beth Chapman. She and her husband, Steven Curtis, lost their five year old daughter in a tragic accident in 2008. Their story is another one that reminds me to cherish every slobbery, yogurt filled kiss, every sweat smothering hug, and the sound of my daughter saying, “Why?” for the hundredth time in one hour.

There are days when I’m doing pretty well at following through with my promise to my mommy self; “I will not make anything more important than my children (or my husband).” It shouldn’t be too difficult to follow through with this agreement since my kids did not come easy. I am blessed to have them with me. I can see how they were plucked out of lives headed for ruin. I love them with all my heart – since the moment I met them.

I could leave you with this fairy tale ending, but frankly, it’s only part of the story. Being a mommy can be difficult. Trust me, I have had my share of those days when you think the walls are falling in. Yesterday and today are great examples. I found myself at the bottom of my mommy patience cup, just wanting to finish a small project (why I ever thought I could accomplish it with two toddlers running around, I will never know).

Then guilt settled in for a long stay. I wasn’t living up to who I wanted to be. The perfect mother.

If I could be realistic, she doesn’t exist – that perfect mother. Yet, I can’t help but wish I was her. All I can do is make great efforts at doing the most important thing I believe a mommy should do, that is to let my children know they are loved. Now I just need the patience and will to do so. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

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June 17, 2011 at 4:19 am Leave a comment

gender. what’s to decide?

Did you ever think of keeping your child’s sex a secret because you wanted them to have freedom of choice? Maybe you’ve heard of the Canadian couple who did. I saw it on the MSN homepage and had to check it out.
On http://moms.today.com, Rachel Elbaum writes, “They got the idea to raise a genderless child from a book they found in the library, and told the (Toronto Star) the secrecy is about giving their children freedom.” The family also said they, “Noticed that parents make so many choices for their children. It’s obnoxious.” The couple allows their other two sons free reign when it comes to choosing hair styles and clothing, making a preference for neither gender.

Parents have gone overboard when it comes to letting children make their own decisions. Many give them choices for everything. I don’t mind giving choices once in a while, but there are times in life when there isn’t more than one option. They will grow up and be forced to live in a world where they have to obey laws. Laws don’t give us choices. You may choose to use your blinker, or you can choose to swerve into the other lane without giving notice. I just don’t think the police officer who pulls this person over is going to understand that they were simply making a choice.

Except for the small percentage of the population born without definite sexual parts, most of us come into the world with either male or female genitalia. There’s no question which one we are. Sure, some may struggle with preferences, such as, boys may play with dolls, girls may love running trucks through the mud. Many times this is just a predilection, not inferring anything else.

When I heard about these parents letting a child decide (its) gender, I was shocked. He is what he is. She is what she is. This has nothing to do with decisions or feelings a person has in regards to their sexual inclinations. That will come later, not when they are an infant, or even two or three. In my opinion they are setting this child up for confusion, but I’m sure this isn’t the only area where this is happening.

May 26, 2011 at 3:23 am Leave a comment


Tracy Dee Whitt - Author

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